Time Flies :)

2Lbs  9 oz

3 lbs 8 oz

3 lbs 5 oz

My sister Jessica and her three kids came from Japan yesterday! Im really sad that her kids cant meet the babies yet, because kids cant come in the NICU, but Jessica was able to hold Cash and Sterling :)

 

*Grateful*

I'm sitting in the NICU, having 'a moment'. There is a baby down the hall from us who I dont think is doing well. There are doctors and nurses all around them, and the mom is a young girl who I know is having the worst day of her life. And I couldn't help but notice that there was no one with her that looked like the father. But her mother is with her. So its made me realize how incredibly blessed we have been. Our babies are doing so well. They are gaining weight like crazy. They all have bad days, and need help... but they are going to be fine. Things could have been so much worse. The other day, our nurse Jane, who we love (we offered her an in-home job if she'd come live with us. I think she thought we were joking)... anyway. Jane told me the other day "I'm so glad they are doing so well. There are so many things that easily could have gone wrong. They could have had so many more issues, and look at them!"
And she is so right. It's amazing. Our babies are here. And they are making progress. That's all we can ask for.
Seeing that young girl also made me realize how lucky I am to have Matt. Clearly I dont know her situation, and I never will, nevertheless, I'm grateful to have such an amazing husband, who is already an amazing father. I'm grateful that his job allows him to spend so much time here in the NICU with us.
I will never again feel sorry for myself for being in this situation. Right now I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

One Month!

I can't believe the babies will be a month old in 3 days (on the 24th). Time flies.. and at the same time it doesn't. It has been a LONG, emotional month. Lots of ups and downs, luckily I feel like more 'ups' than 'downs'.
They all have their good days and bad. Each of them have been treated for different things... they've all had blood transfusions, Cash has been on steroids. I think hardest part so far is just waiting. Waiting for them to gain weight, to breathe on their own, to eat on their own, waiting for their PDA's to close on their own. And in the mean time all we can do is be with them, change diapers, help with baths, and hold them once a day. Its so hard watching them struggle. They are so teeny tiny. But we have so many good moments with them too. They've all started to grin at us, and they are so much more alert. We are getting to know their little personalities already, and they are all so different, and adorable :)

Cash, or our "wimpy white boy" as the doctors tend to call him (i'm not offended at all), has come a long way. His lungs were really wet and underdeveloped. He had a moderate-large Patent Ductus Ateriosus, and his heart was beginning to enlarge. It broke my heart to see him so uncomfortable and to see him struggle so much to breathe. But they gave him Lasix for clear his lungs, 10 days of steroids for his lungs, and as of about 4 days ago they dont hear his heart murmur anymore! He'll get an echo in a few days to see if his PDA really closed. But he is doing SO much better. He looks so chunky compared to the other two kids. He's a whopping 3 lbs 3 oz today! And I knew we would have at least one... He's our little red head :) 

Jones is such a little character :) He's the one who always has his eyes wide open and will grin at us. While he's doing all those cute things, he just forgets to breathe. He's given me a heart attack at least twice.  It's the worst, most helpless feeling ever. I told him next time he's for sure grounded. I can't handle it. He's slowly following in Cash's footsteps with his lung issues. But they are just monitoring him for now. He's 3 lbs now!

Sterling :) Our little princess. She also happens to be our rockstar. She has been doing great ever since she got here. Pretty much their only goals for her right now are to gain weight. Which she is, 2 lbs 3 oz. She's finally looking like a baby now. She was so tiny when she was born, she just looked like skin a bones, so its so nice to see her grow. One of the Respiratory Therapists here always puts little bows on her head, and brought her a headband. She's adorable. 

We are so in love with our babies. I could literally just sit and stare at them all day. I'm so glad I get to be their mom. We get to hold them all once a day. Once they get bigger we can hold them more often. I hate that we have to go home without them. It's still so weird to me. I miss them as soon as we leave the hospital. But hopefully this next month goes by fast. It helps to know that they are in good hands while we are away. The nurses here are great. We are really pleased with our whole experience here at Good Samaritan.

We are so grateful for all the prayers for them. I know they make a difference. People have been so supportive with prayers, fasting, and bringing us meals. We are so grateful. 

Family of 5!

I was laying in bed last night, and like a crazy person, outloud was saying "I have three babies. Wait... I have THREE babies? This can't be real". Luckily, no one was around to hear me sound like a crazy person. And luckily it IS real and I really do have 3 beautiful children. I can't believe it happened so fast. 

I had a Dr appointment last friday and my blood pressure was high so they went me to the hospital for tests and let me know there was a possibility of being admitted for preeclampsia. Triplet pregnancies are always at higher risk for it. So we did a 24 urine test and they admitted me on Saturday afternoon.

The babies were all moving great, but the doctors said preeclampsia is super unpredictible and because of that I might only last a few days before I had to deliver, or I could go another 2 weeks. So we hoped for the best, keeping in mind that I had just turned 29 weeks, and that was a huge milestone should we have to deliver. 

Sunday night we had an ultrasound and saw that Baby C, the little girl, still hadn't grown at all in 3 weeks. The dr wanted more tests with ultrasound but they didn't have time that night so they brought us back Monday morning. And i'm so grateful we had to go back because that morning Baby C stopped moving. Completely. I've literally never seen a baby so still for a whole hour during an ultrasound while being pushed and buzzed. I'm pretty sure I felt my heart break. 

The Dr came in to discuss our options. And thats when the worst hour of my life started. He said we would repeat the Biophysical Profile one more time to see if she would move. After that, we had a choice to make. 

A. We would deliver ASAP to give the little girl a chance. But delivering early while the other 2 babies were perfectly fine inside of me put THEM at risk. They were at risk for developmental problems or chronic lung disease...

B. Wait on delivery, almost surely losing the little girl, but possibly giving the boys WEEKS more to develop in me, giving them a much better chance at being healthy. 

I couldn't believe it was happening to me. I will never forget that feeling. Or the look in Matt's eyes while we had to make a decision. 

The Dr. gave us a minute, and we said a prayer. I felt like we were being forced to choose between our children. But we couldn't forget the fact that I had preeclampsia and I may have to deliver within a few days anyway. 

We agreed that we felt like we should deliver and at least give our little girl a chance. As soon as we told them our decision everything happened so fast. Matt and his dad gave me a blessing. I was taken to the operating room where there was already a whole crew waiting for me. Before they let Matt in and got started they did a quick ultrasound and saw the little girl's heart rate was dropping fast so they sped things up. A minute later Matt was next to me and I heard "Out!" Baby A came out at 1:03 pm. Then "Out!" again. Baby B was out a minute later at 1:04 pm. It took a couple minutes to get Baby C out because she was tucked pretty far in but she was born at 1:06 pm. 

They took them away right away to take care of them. Each baby had 3 nurses and there were multiple doctors. Matt was able to follow them to the NICU while I went to the recovery room. After tests they told us that the little girl probably wouldn't have lasted more than a few hours if we hadn't delivered. There is no doubt in my mind that we made the right decision. 

They are 5 days old today and they are all doing so well. I feel SO blessed. They are all breathing well, with just a little help. The boys no longer need their lights for jaundice. And right now they are all taking their feedings well. 

They are the cutest, tiniest, wrinkliest babies I've ever seen. I'm so in love with them. I definitely haven't been able to see them enough because i've been stuck in my room with high blood pressure, but Matt has slept with them every night and spends all day long with them. He's honestly the best dad ever.  He is so good with them and I can see how in love he is. We've been able to change a few diapers and I got to hold Baby A for the first time yesterday. It was the best feeling in the world. I'm hoping we will decide on names today so we can stop calling them "A, B and C" :) 

I'm so grateful for our families and friends that kept us in their prayers this week and even fasted for us. We are so blessed and so fortunate that everything is going this well. 

We still have long way to go. The babies will be in the hospital until probably September. But at least they are here, and safe, thats all I could ask for :)

 Our baby girl and her first bracelet... Matt's wedding ring 

22!

*sigh* More than halfway there! I'm almost 22 weeks, and we know i'm not carrying any longer than 35 weeks and I'm not going to lie... I'm so not ready yet. Emotionally I dont feel ready and if you take a look at my nursery you will see i'm clearly not. I have mini panic attacks in my head about all the sudden having 3 teeny little babies in only 13 weeks.
I do feel so blessed that absolutely everything has gone perfectly with my pregnancy so far. (when I say "perfectly" i'm not counting the sickness and exhaustion...obviously) Some of the books and blogs I read at the beginning of my pregnancy made it seem like 22 weeks would be almost impossible. And to be totally honest, every night when i'm laying in bed I breathe a sigh of relief that we went one more day without anything happening. I realize that's no way to live, but it is what it is.
If this didn't seem real before, it sure does now! Mostly because we've traded in our truck for a minivan. And listen, I've already seen all the disappointed looks from everyone :) But its seriously the most realistic car, 3 carseats in 1 row, plus room for the dogs and 2 strollers and whatever else. And I actually like it! Although the boy in the Taco Bell drive through who always comments on my truck is going to be sorely disappointed the next time I go for my Cheesy Gordita Crunch.

(too lazy to go actually take a pic of ours)

This is also my first week with no work! My doc told me it was time to slow down, and even though he didn't say I HAD to stop working yet, Matt did :) And I'm smarter than to ask "Are you sure?"  when Matt tells me to put my 2 weeks in. So now I sit at home, not being able to go shopping or walk a lot, but not on complete bed rest yet... and I might be a little bored. Thank goodness for Hulu, Netflix, Pinterest, facebook... So I welcome any visitors :)

Oh, I have a blog?/ Baby, baby, baby

October of 2011? Really? Actually, after thinking about my journal writing pattern (about once a year), that sounds about right. I just signed on to do a few "Update Posts" and now I'm feeling like maybe I should have started before 9:45pm.
That bedroom I was painting in my last post? I haven't even seen in for 5 months. After living in Utah for a much shorter time than we expected, we decided to move back home to AZ. I do miss it already. And I will definitely miss it around July when I'm sweating just walking to my car. I loved our little house, our huge backyard, my garden, the weather, our sweet neighbors, my job, Cafe Rio 2 minutes away... But it is SO good to be home too. I missed being so close to family and friends. But I am also so glad we did move to Utah. It was such a good experience. I think it brought us closer as a couple. We didn't know anyone but each other for a long time. It was a little adventure. And we will never forget those (almost) 2 years.

And isn't it funny how the timing of things always seems to work out? I can't imagine being so far away from family considering how our lives are about to change. Being a mom is something I've looked forward to for so long. And there's no one else I would rather start a family with than Matt. It's just happening a little different than I always had it planned in my head.

In August, our little family of TWO will be a family of....... FIVE.
Actually I still don't really think that it has sunk in for me yet.

Triplets?!

1, 2, 3 Babies?!

The past few months have basically felt like a rollercoaster ride.  To sum it up...
"Yay we're pregnant!" Being an ultrasound tech, I couldn't help myself, I had to scan myself at 4 weeks. So I had to call Matt and tell him I saw 2 (small) gestational sacs. TWINS!
We got used to the idea of twins pretty fast. And actually we knew it was a possibility with the medication I had to take. 8% chance of twins, less than1% chance of triplets or more. We knew we could handle twins. One for me, and one for you. I have two arms. Pshh....we're good.

Then a few weeks later my manager wanted to scan me to see the babies. We thought we had seen a small subchorionic hemorrhage (bleed around the sac) so we wanted to follow up on it since we didn't see it well before.
This is how the convo went during my scan...
Me:Oh, they are so cute! Look at them! Aww......wait. Jenn, I swear I saw something move in that "bleed". My bleed just fluttered, my bleed has a heartbeat"
Jenn: No it didn't, dont scare yourself...
a minute goes by....
Jenn: (while she is scanning, counting the sacs) Um, One.... two.... YOUR GOING TO BE FINE!

I hate to admit I was a little hysterical for about 2 minutes after that. 1000 thoughts were running through my mind.
3 BABIES?! HOW? I'VE NEVER EVEN HAD 1 BABY! IS THIS REAL? HOW DO I TELL MATT?! THIS IS GOING TO BE SO HARD. CAN WE REALLY HANDLE 3 BABIES? ARE THEY GOING TO BE HEALTHY? THEY ARE GOING TO BE SO SMALL!  I FOR SURE NEED A MINI VAN NOW....

At the same time, my dear sweet manager was telling me everything I needed to hear.
And Matt reminded me why I love him so much when I was in tears trying to blubber out "There's one more... 3, we're having three. Triplets" (something like that). And his response was a huge smile and "Whats one more?! Thats awesome!" *Sigh* thanks Matt. I know that's probably not how you reacted on the inside.

Now i'm 16 weeks, with 2 boys and a girl :) And i'm finally feeling little flutters :)

Its been fun seeing everyone's reaction when we tell them. I think it's so funny because I can't tell you how many people reacted by saying "You're going to be fine!". The first few times I actually thought 'wait, why would you say that. Am I not going to be fine? Ahh!" As Matt put it, "You're going to be fine" is something you tell someone that just got shot in the desert, and clearly they are not going to be fine" Which is why we have to just laugh when people say that instead of "congrats", I think they don't know what to say.

Its hard for me to even put into words how I feel.
Excited/Overwhelmed/Nervous/Lucky/Happy/Terrified... But most of all, Blessed. I thank my Heavenly Father every single day. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he must trust us with these 3 precious babies. He knows this is happening right?
I cannot wait to be a mom. And I really can't wait to meet my 3 little babies. All I want is for them to be strong, healthy and happy. I couldn't ask for anything more.

New bedroom

Kerb requested pictures of our room. Probably because when she was here last all we had was a bed and all the walls AND ceiling were a midnight purple.
After months of it, I texted Matt one morning and said, "Sorry but i'm not spending one more night in our room like that. I cringe every time I walk in it. I'm going to paint it ok.. I'm seriously going to Lowes right now." He laughed, and of course said to go right ahead.

So I did. Its not fancy shmancy or anything. And while it didn't turn out exactly how I pictured it, I still like it. Especially thinking of how it was before. I'm still looking for some space fillers.

Oh, and there's pics of the yellow pillows I made this week :) 

From D.C. to New York

When I got home from Arizona, Matt had our corner table full of goodies for me (which he usually does for special occasions). Reisens, Andes, Dove Chocolates, and Plane Tickets! Score. He took me to Washington D.C, Philly, and New York to celebrate me FINALLY being finished wtih school. (Isn't he sweet).
We spent 2 days in D.C., drove to Philly for the day, then headed to New York for the next couple days. It was super exciting, I loved it. And it made me grateful for how easy it is to get around over here. I dont have to take a train, subway, or cab to get where I'm going everyday.

*sigh* the D.C. Subway. Where we had what I call our "Movie Moment" The doors on those things are only open for (I swear) like 10 seconds to let you get on or off. And if you decide last minute you're at your stop (like we did) you better hurry. So, our movie moment went kind of like this- 

Matt- "this is our stop.." (starts heading out the door)

I follow. Literally 2 steps behind him, because I turned to make sure we didn't leave anything sitting on the seat, i'm paranoid

Guess 2 steps behind is 2 much. 

The door closed right between us. I tried to stop them. Then tried to open them. 

Matt turned around and faced me, on the opposite side of the glass. I had my hand on the window, and we just stared at each other as I was taken away. 

Oh, and Matt had my cell phone

And all the money

So i got off on the next stop, got on the subway heading back to Matt, hoping HE wasn't coming to ME. 

Anyway. He was there. It worked out. But I almost peed my pants in the process because I was so nervous.

Renting bikes in D.C=Best decision ever. 

 Arlington National Cemetery was one of my favorite places. 

We really did have the best philly cheese steaks in Philly. Words cannot describe...

 Jersey Boys was amazing. I'm listening to the soundtrack at this very moment.

Thanks Matt for yet another amazing Trip. xoxo